Banana Ratings Scale

A bunch of bananas: A masterpiece. Completely entertaining and enthralling. Inspires emotions. Has you sitting on your couch afterward just loving the fact that you live in a world where this piece of entertainment exists. Worth having the Blu-ray in your collection, hopefully with lots of bonus features so you can soak it up further.

4 bananas: Thoroughly entertaining, but with minor flaws that keep it short of perfection. Loveable but not transcendent. Makes you say, “You know, that was pretty damn good.” Vies for a position on year-end top 10 lists and a spot in your Blu-ray collection.

3 bananas: Engaging and definitely worth seeing for people who make time for entertainment in their lives, but has several notable flaws. Perhaps inspires apologetics essays about how you should really give it a chance. You might cautiously recommend it to a friend.

2 bananas: Thoroughly skippable, although it has some redeeming qualities here and there. A forgiving viewer can see there’s something good in there, but it’s buried beneath the things that went wrong. If someone asks if they should see it, you say “Don’t bother.”

1 banana: Unengaging from start to finish. Has acceptable production values that keep it from a zero rating, but should be skipped by anyone who values their time.

No bananas: Complete garbage. Very difficult to even sit through the whole thing because it’s obvious that it’s bad and won’t get better. You wouldn’t recommend this to your worst enemy.