Banana Ratings Scale

A bunch of bananas: A masterpiece. Completely entertaining and enthralling. Inspires emotions. Has you sitting on your couch afterward just loving the fact that you live in a world where this piece of entertainment exists. Worth having the Blu-ray (or book or comic, as it were) in your collection, hopefully with lots of bonus features so you can soak it up further.

4 bananas: Thoroughly entertaining, but with flaws that keep it short of perfection. Loveable but not transcendent. Makes you say, “You know, that was pretty damn good.” Might sneak onto a year-end top 10 list, but most likely will just miss the cut.

3 bananas: Mildly engaging and worth seeing/reading for people who make time for entertainment in their lives, but has notable flaws. Perhaps inspires apologetics essays about how you should really give it a chance. You might cautiously recommend it to a friend.

2 bananas: Thoroughly skippable, although it has some redeeming qualities here and there. A forgiving viewer/reader can see there’s something good in there, but it’s buried beneath the things that went wrong. If someone asks if they should check it out, you say “Don’t bother.”

1 banana: Unengaging from start to finish. Technically competent enough to avoid a zero rating, but should be skipped by anyone who values their time.

No bananas: Complete garbage. Very difficult to even sit through/read through the whole thing because it’s obvious that it’s bad and won’t get better. You wouldn’t recommend this to your worst enemy.