All 22 episodes of ‘Gilmore Girls’ Season 4 (2003-04), ranked

Gilmore Girls Season 4

“Gilmore Girls” Season 4 (2003-04, The WB) was the best of seasons and the worst of seasons. Although the first half is wonderful, it ultimately ranks as the most flawed season up to this point, but not for the reason one might assume.

Often, a high school show struggles to redefine itself after the character(s) graduate (see “Beverly Hills, 90210” and “Dawson’s Creek” and, to a lesser extent, “Buffy”), but “Gilmore Girls” makes a smooth transition because all the action takes place in the small state of Connecticut.

(I’d be interested to find out if Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino switched Rory’s school of choice from Harvard to Yale for the sake of proximity.)


TV Review

“Gilmore Girls” Season 4 (2003-04)

WB, 22 episodes

Creator: Amy Sherman-Palladino

Stars: Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Keiko Agena


Close to home

We had already seen Rory and Lorelai make the 20-minute drive from Stars Hollow to Hartford for Friday night dinners, and Google Maps says the distance from Hartford to New Haven is 41 minutes.

Since we don’t know what side of Hartford the fictional Stars Hollow is on, the Yale campus could be as close as 21 minutes. (In Season 6, it’s explicitly stated that Stars Hollow is 30 minutes from both Hartford and New Haven.)

As such, the writers didn’t have to worry about logistics. As viewers, we were simply asked to assume there’s a car just off-screen.

New quirky friends

At the same time, Season 4 offers a new world of quirky characters and situations on the Yale campus, and it’s fun to see Rory – uniquely prepared by having grown up in Stars Hollow – deal with them. All of my favorite things about “Rory Gilmore: The College Years” are in Season 4.

Among characters, there’s Tana, the female Doogie Howser; Janet, who jogs; Marty, the Naked Guy; desperate-for-a-date Glenn; Jonathan-from-“Buffy” as Yale Daily News editor Doyle, and Rory’s sundry bad dates and misfires.

Among situations, there’s Rory making an enemy of a ballerina with her too-honest review, tailgating at The Game, and spring break. A popular question on the IMBD “Gilmore Girls” threads is “When did Rory start going downhill?”

Some like to point to her being “the other woman” with Dean in the Season 4 finale, but I’m not ready to give up on Rory yet. (My opinion will no doubt change when I get to my Season 5 rewatch.) She clearly feels terrible when she calls Dean and hears Lindsey’s voice.

Bad behavior

Besides, compared to other people in Season 4, Rory is a saint, and this brings me to the reason why this year ranks below the first three: Between episodes 12 and 19 (with a couple exceptions, including my favorite episode of the season), the show is as unpleasant as it’s ever been.

Jess returns, but he has reverted to full-on a–h— form. Luke’s sister Liz and especially her fiancé T.J. are annoying.

And worst of all, Richard backstabs his business partner (and Lorelai’s boyfriend) Jason by stealing all his clients and defaming him. Granted, I – like most viewers — forgot about Jason’s very existence as soon as Luke and Lorelai started dating (or as Lorelai puts it: “I think I’m dating Luke”) two episodes later.

Still, Richard’s despicable action makes every previous tiff in the Gilmores’ generational battles seem trivial.

Here are my rankings of the 22 episodes of Season 4:

1. “Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin’ the Twist” (episode 17, written by Amy Sherman-Palladino)

Before I started taking medication, I was unable to have a good time among large groups of people having a good time. While Rory and Paris are not as socially awkward as me (well, Paris might be), I love the way they are fish out of water in this pitch-perfect spring break episode where they travel to Florida because “It’s warm in Florida.” (I can confirm that is accurate.)

The Shins perform right before their big “Garden State” soundtrack breakthrough, Rory looks cute in her sundress, Madeline and Louise show up as permanent spring breakers, Rory drunk-dials Dean, and the jokes all land, notably this gem of comedic timing:

Rory: “It was interesting, you know? We sat on the beach, went to a club, we watched ‘The Power of Myth,’ Paris and I kissed …”

Lorelai: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You watched ‘The Power of Myth?’ “

2. “Luke Can See Her Face” (20, Sherman-Palladino)

With the Luke-Lorelai thing being dragged out, as is TV’s wont, the writers had inadvertently made Luke passive about his feelings for Lorelai. They rectify that here while also delivering a hilarious hour, starting with an embarrassed Luke buying the self-help audiotapes then shouting in disgust when the narrator loudly opens with “LOVE!”

3. “Raincoats and Recipes” (22, Sherman-Palladino)

It’s satisfying to see the Dragonfly Inn open, with the nice touch of the guests following the doors (the last items to be installed) up to their rooms. But the highlights are Lauren Graham’s pratfalls — wiping out a table at Luke’s Diner and running into a door at the inn — as Lorelai thinks she “might be dating Luke.” And if the “What are you doing?”/”Will you just stand still?” kisses aren’t giggle-worthy, nothing is.

4. “Die, Jerk” (8, Daniel Palladino)

As a small-town newspaper A&E writer, this episode hit close to home for me as Rory honestly reviews a bad ballet performance. The tidbits from the article are classic, such as comparing the dancer to a hippo and “the line about regretting how evolution had led man to stand on two feet because it led to this night.” I love Richard’s gleeful reaction: “You eviscerated that girl!”

5. “Ted Koppel’s Big Night Out” (9, Sherman-Palladino)

It’s a blast to see multiple generations tailgating before the Harvard-Yale game, from Rory bringing a giant bag of Fig Newtons to Richard leading students in a “Bow-bow-wow” chant. We never actually see a football game or even a field, making this one of many “Gilmore Girls” episodes that manages to supply the desired atmosphere without a big budget.

6. “The Lorelai’s First Day at Yale” (2, Palladino)

The opener of the Yale era hits all the right notes as it serves triple duty. It’s a universal portrayal of a freshman’s moving-in day at college, complete with a mattress that can’t be disposed of. It introduces a quirky batch of Yale oddballs (Tana!) who could stand toe to toe with the Stars Hollow populace. But ultimately, it’s specific to Rory and Lorelai, who ends up staying with her daughter on that first night.

7. “The Festival of Living Art” (7, Palladino)

Despite Rory going off to Yale, “Gilmore Girls” not only remained committed to quirky Stars Hollow episodes, but it delivered one of the most evocative, as townsfolk dress up as characters in famous paintings … and just stand there on the stage.

8. “The Fundamental Things Apply” (5, John Stephens)

Rory’s relationships with Dean and Jess came easy, so it’s nice to see that Rory’s first college date, with a guy named Trevor, is totally awkward. Even Luke and Lorelai’s pseudo-date is more natural. I felt bad for Rory in the final scene where Laundry Boy shoots her down, and also angry because how could anyone turn down Rory Gilmore? (Hey, like I said, I’m still in Rory Apologist Mode.)

9. “The Hobbit, the Sofa and Digger Stiles” (3, Sherman-Palladino)

That having been said, I must mention that it’s odd that nothing ever becomes of Rory-and-Marty other than Rory continually friend-zoning him. Here, they have a meet-cute as she finds him drunkenly naked outside her dorm room and lends him her robe. He notes that he’ll always be “Naked Guy.” Too bad that turned out to be accurate.

10. “Chicken or Beef?” (4, Jane Espenson)

I like how Luke and Dean bond when Dean drunkenly admits he still loves Rory and Luke gives him a place to sleep it off. The undercurrent, of course, is that Luke also harbors unrequited love for a Gilmore girl. Trivia: One of Dean’s bachelor-party pals is Max Greenfield (Leo on “Veronica Mars” and Schmidt on “New Girl”).

11. “Ballrooms and Biscotti” (1, Sherman-Palladino)

Before the Yale years begin in earnest, we get “American Graffiti” “Gilmore Girls”-style, capped in wonderfully random fashion as the girls find themselves watching old dance competition tapes on Emily’s couch.

12. “In the Clamor and the Clangor” (11, Sheila R. Lawrence and Janet Leahy)

This is the series’ pivotal Lane episode, as her band’s first big gig (at CBGBs! … although they get bumped) corresponds with Mrs. Kim discovering her under-the-floorboards CD collection and under-the-mattress wardrobe and throwing her out of the house.

It’s a shame that Lane’s boyfriend, Dave, bolted for California (a nod to the fact that Adam Brody went to “The O.C.”). Still, this turned out to be a great Lane season as she gets an apartment with Zach and Brian and pursues her drumming dreams.

13. “An Affair to Remember” (6, Sherman-Palladino)

Kirk’s preparation and successful date at Luke’s is amusing. His delightful girlfriend, Lulu, is arguably the most underused character on the series with the exceptions of actors who were unavailable due to other commitments (such as Dave, and in later seasons, Dean and Jess).

14. “Scene in a Mall” (15, Palladino)

You gotta love a mall-set episode, and this is a good one, as we see how the other half shops when Emily tears through a department store making demands. Then we get the classic image of the girls ordering pretty much everything at the food court.

15. “Last Week Fights, This Week Tights” (21, Palladino)

Liz and T.J. are (slightly) less annoying at their wedding compared to their introductory episodes, but the highlight for me is Jess getting his act together thanks to Luke’s self-help books. I love the scene of him reading the book behind a punk rock magazine on a park bench.

Unfortunately, he blows it by giving Rory an ultimatum to run away with him, but I guess I can’t blame a guy for acting a little wacky when the love of Rory Gilmore is at stake. Trivia: Rory’s bad date here is Duncan from “Veronica Mars.”

16. “The Nanny and the Professor” (10, Scott Kaufer)

This is a harmless episode advancing the Paris-Asher romance, the Lorelai-Jason romance, and the operations of the Yale Daily News. I’ll use this space to note that although I love the idea of Rory as a budding journalist, I have to admit that “Gilmore Girls” never got the newsroom vibe quite right.

Doyle’s instructions to “File this!” while handing off a hard copy of an article (presumably to be re-typed by a freshman) are illogical. By 2003, even bureaucratically funded college papers were in the digital age, and a hard case like Doyle should have demanded that everything be submitted electronically.

17. “The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais” (14, Sherman-Palladino and Palladino)

Lorelai crying in front of Luke and Rory crying in front of Dean are scenes that ask the actors to do a bit too much. This heavy-handed episode kicks off a not-entirely-welcome era of “Gilmore Girls” that’s more driven by melodrama than the breezy buildups and surprising payoffs of the early seasons.

18. “The Reigning Lorelai” (16, Espenson)

“Gilmore Girls” wisely dispenses with the endlessly judgmental Trix, but first we have to get through the funeral episode. And even then, the Trix actress is still there, playing cousin Marilyn!

19-20. “A Family Matter” (12, Palladino) and “Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels” (13, Sherman-Palladino)

Liz and (especially) T.J. are irritating to both Luke and viewers, but what’s really a shame is that the Palladinos under-write Jess. He doesn’t talk to Rory until the end of episode 13, when – in an unearned scene — he says “I love you” then drives off.

The writers act as if we know what Jess has been up to on his spinoff show (which doesn’t exist), but it’s inexplicable that he would somehow travel from California (where we last saw him, living with his dad) to Stars Hollow to re-acquire his old junker.

Later in the season, we learn he’s living in New York City and working as a messenger, which makes more logistical sense. Considering Jess’ importance in Rory’s life the two previous years, this two-parter should’ve been as powerful as Faith’s return in Season 4 of “Buffy,” but it doesn’t come close.

21-22. “Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!” (18, Palladino) and “Afterboom” (19, Lawrence)

Don’t get me wrong, the bulk of these two episodes are fine, with the usual banter and patter. But this arc leaves a sour taste when Richard backstabs Jason, thus forcing Jason to sue Richard and forcing Lorelai to break up with Jason. This is the first wrongful action in the four years of inter-clan feuding that is wholly inexcusable.

More “Gilmore Girls” reviews:

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 5

Season 6

Season 7

Season 8: “A Year in the Life”